Interests:Cruising at the beach, partying, chilling with peeps, NARUTO, and techno. Expertise:Medical Technologist, Public Health Laboratorian. Occupation:Student Industry:Education/Research
I heard once that even on the cloudiest, rainiest days, if you go above the clouds, the sky is bright and beautiful. I wish I could see the sun shining down on me, but my vision only goes as far as my clouds...
This past Hawaii trip was exactly what I needed. Being in the sun, eating good food, drinking lots of beer, swimming at the beach, and most importantly doing it all with my family and friends has been so therapeutic. I think the biggest lesson I learned (or relearned) is that I have to stop thinking about myself and think about others if I want to be happy. Being with my family really reminded me of this lesson I've learned so many times, but forgotten so many times. I guess it's kind of hard to think about others when you live pretty much on your own and get set into work. What's funny is that I didn't realize how selfish I was becoming until I went back home. Well, from now I'll try to wash away that dust and use this trip as a turning point in my life.
It's only been one day and I already miss my family. Shanon's wedding was a success, and I've never seen her glow like that in my life. You can tell that someone is truly joyful when their happiness radiates around them. That alone was worth the trip and all the small things that had to be done in preparation of her wedding. Also, this trip allowed me to spend lots of time with Wade and Jeff, which was really cool because they're like my older brothers I never had growing up. Of course sometimes I get irritated with them, but to give them credit, I also got irritated with Shanon and Stacie. That's what siblings do, they irritate each other sometimes. It's really amazing to see how everyone just becomes part of the family. Anyway, I hope I can keep the warmth I regained back in Hawaii and use that to make others happy here in Seattle. Just need to spread the aloha and the sprinkle the fragrance through my lifestyle.
I know, I sigh a lot. Hence my name. At least my name isn't Blow or something. Anyway, today was a good day. I had a nice lazy morning, made plans to meet up with my new role model (who is leaving Seattle on Thursday), wore my sunglasses, gave directions to my little brother to my favorite dim sum restaurant in Seattle (it's always nice talking to my brother these days because he's one of the things that motivates me to try harder, for his sake, even when I'm feeling down), and had a slow day at work. Couldn't ask for more...except for my insomnia to go away, but hey, I'm not greedy, I'm happy with what I got. Hopefully things continue being this good for a while. Having a lazy morning and making plans to meet up with my role model was pretty much the deal breaker for me. I haven't had a lazy morning in such a long time, and as for my new role model, like all my role models in life, I always looked up to them, and they, in return, never looked at or acknowledged me. But being able to make plans to meet up on such short notice during such a busy time made me feel like I was at least somewhat important in their eyes. Yeah, life could be better, but like I said, I'm not trying to be the mouse that just got a cookie. I'm happy with the cookie, no need the milk. Esp after being famished, the cookie is kekkouya, or all good. After going crazy this weekend, I finally realize that the only thing driving me crazy was myself...and the insomnia and the rain on Sunday, but mostly myself. I gotta learn to stop doing that.
On a more random note, this song has been stuck in my head lately.
Why do I always get rejected? I hate it. I hate the situation I've fallen into. I need to change something, but I don't know how. I tried so many things, but yet I keep failing. I need to stop dreaming of finding a girl to make me feel whole and think about how to make myself complete from within. I thought I already accomplished that, but this recent rejection made me realize I'm still a long ways to go. Maybe it's all a sign that I need to start taking my family's church seriously. Maybe I need to start thinking about returning to Hawaii a little bit more seriously. Seattle was once my fantasy land where everything was great, but ever since I returned from Japan, the Emerald city is slowly becoming my purgatory.
